Just Some Ink On A Page
by TeamUnitedNerds
Summary: The Ice King brings Fionna to life using magic, and must convince her that she isn't just a fanfiction character


The Ice King labored over his gurgling cauldron. His frail old hands tossed in a variety of magic ingredients, various items whose very existence defied everything logical. With every ingredient dropped in, the cauldron glowed brighter, ethereal green light reflecting off of the icy walls of the Ice King's lair. The penguins were in a state of awe as he continued to add to the unearthly mixture, before it boiled over, thick, mucous-like green bubbles pouring over the side. The Ice King looked at it solemnly. "It is done" he said. He lifted a book over his head, old and worn, and dropped it into the mixture. A green fire erupted from it, filling the room with smoke that smelled of garbage, shoes, and toothpaste. When the smoke cleared, a girl was standing before the Ice King. She looked young, her face soft and innocent. She wore a hat, rabbit-like, atop her head, from which came a single strand of golden hair that rested on the right side of her face. Her shirt was a light blue, and her skirt a darker shade. She wore socks that came up to her knees, and a backpack, of a light green. In her hands she clutched a sword, pink and crystalline.

The word "Fionna" vanished entirely from the Ice King's fanfiction

The Ice King had seen, and even created, fantastical magical spectacles before, but this one had a particular impact upon him. His mouth was agape, and his eyes wide, glowing with a spark that had not existed within them since he was sane and happy. "Fionna..." he whispered.

Fionna shook her head. She had no idea where she was. Her small black eyes immediately focused on the Ice King. She instantly noticed his similarities to a particularly man-crazy ice witch. She drew her pink, crystalline sword and lunged at the old man without hesitation. She struck his face with the flat part of her sword, knocking him across the cave. "Who are you!?" she asked. "And why do you look like an even uglier dude version of the Ice Queen?"

The Ice King brushed the snow off of himself. "What, do you just hit everyone in the face with a sword who looks kind of like someone you don't like? I thought I wrote you to be more heroic..."

"What?" Fionna said.

The Ice King clamped his hands over his mouth. His mind was clouded by a constant bombardment of madness, but he still had enough clarity to realize that informing Fionna that she was only a fictional character would sent her into an existential crisis. "I...uh" The Ice King tried to remember where he had left off in his fanfiction.

"Oh yeah, I am the Ice Queen. I revived myself as an ugly wizard man after I died. That's canon, trust me"

Fionna raised her sword again.

"Wait! No! I'm good now!" he shouted, holding his hands out in front of him. He suddenly regretted using the adjective "Strong" to describe Fionna so frequently.

Fionna put her sword down. "Prove it" she said.

"Well...uh...all of your guy friends trust me now! I'll prove it to you!"

Elsewhere, Marceline sat on top of a lab table, legs dangling over the sides as Princess Bubblegum slowly leaned in with a syringe. "Just stick it in already!" Marceline said.

"Stop complaining" Princess Bubblegum said. "I have to stick it in gently. I don't want to hurt you"

"Hey, you two aren't having your lady bizz in there, are you?" The Ice King asked from behind the lab door.

"Go away Ice King, I'm doing some experimenting"

The Ice King's eyebrows raised.

"Should I go punch him in the mouth?" Marceline asked.

"Oh, come on" The Ice King said. "I wasn't even going to kidnap you. I just need some help with something important"

Princess Bubblegum sighed, and put the syringe back on the table.

"Listen, remember that amazing fanfiction I wrote?" The Ice King said.

"You mean the one you made me read while tied up?" Princess Bubblegum said.

"Yeah that one. Anyways, I used some magic to bring the main character to life, and I need to show her characters from my fanfiction or she'll realize she's fictional and lose her mind. So I was wondering if you two could dress up as Prince Gumball and Marshall Lee for me?"

"No way!" Marceline yelled.

The Ice King entered the lab, his eyes black and wide with sadness. "Please?" he begged. Princess Bubblegum sighed. "You did say that the sanity of someone is on the line?"

The Ice King nodded. "Fine, but you have to sew the costumes for us. Marceline, go cut your hair"

Marceline huffed defiantly and floated off.

The Ice King floated off as well, back towards his home. It occurred to him that he needed some way to distract Fionna. "Hey Fionna" he said. "Yeah?" Fionna asked, bored from having had sat on a block of ice for an entire day. "I need you to wash my penguins. The fate of the world depends on it. Or something"

Fionna sighed. "Really"

"Yes, really" The Ice King said. "And afterwords your guy friends will be arriving soon"

Fionna let out another sigh, and lifted up the nearest penguin, lifting the squirming creature up and into the Ice King's bathroom.

He dug out an ancient sewing machine from a pile of boxes, and began furiously sewing together the best Marshall Lee and Prince Gumball outfits he could. After a while, he was finally satisfied with his work. He lifted up the outfits, kissing them, just as Princess Bubblegum and Marceline arrived, Princess Bubblegum atop Lady Rainicorn, and Marceline floating in the air. Both of them landed next to the Ice King. Lady Rainicorn flew away after a Korean utterance.

"Finally, you're here" The Ice King handed the ladies their costumes. "Now, go change" he said.

"I'm not changing in front of you" Marceline said, putting her costume on over her clothes. The Ice King's Marshall Lee shirt hung off of her loosely, so her clothes underneath could be seen. Princess Bubblegum put her Princess Gumball outfit on, which was tight enough to almost completely restrict her movements. Only by tearing the seams could she move.

"Simon, these outfits are terrible" Marceline said. "Do you seriously expect anyone to believe we're actually these characters you can make up? Do you actually think my voice sounds anything like Marshall's?"

"Come on" The Ice King said. "I'm sure you'll do fine"

"Fionna, stop washing my penguins, your guy friends are here to see you"

The Ice King held his hands out in front of him. "Try not to make out with her, I don't want to advance Gunter's Fiolee shipping"

Gunter grunted angrily. Or at least did whatever the penguin equivalent of angry grunting is.

Fionna walked out, smelling like penguin filth and old soap. "Ice King, those aren't Marshall Lee or Prince Gumball. I'm pretty sure both of them are girls. Did you get their twin sisters or something?"

She pulled out her sword. "You really are evil aren't you?"

The Ice King sighed with regret. "Marceline, PBubs, just go, I need to have a private talk"

Marceline ripped the shirt off of herself, and wrapped her arms around Princess Bubblegum's waist, floating away with her.

"Listen, Fionna" The Ice King said. "I'm not actually the Ice Queen. I'm the Ice King. You aren't in Aaa either, you're in the land of Ooo"

"So, another dimension?" Fionna asked.

"No, Aaa doesn't actually exist. It's time you learned the truth. You're a character from a fanfiction I wrote. I brought you to life using magic, but I shouldn't have ever done it. I'm sorry"

Fionna clenched her fists together, keeping her eyes pointed at the ground. Faint sobs could be heard escaping from her mouth. "You mean, I'm not real? And none of my friends are? So Cake, Marshall, and Flame Prince are just a bunch of lies? And everything I've ever fought for is just nothing? I'm just some ink on a page? So...I'm not a real hero? So I've never really helped anyone real?"

Her voice cracked. The Ice King hobbled over to comfort her, putting his arm around her shoulder. "No, you're so much more than that, Fionna. I wrote you myself, to be beautiful and strong. You're like a daughter to me. Every time I write you, you make me feel happy. That's something real that you've done for someone"

"You're right" she wiped her eyes. "Ice King, I want to go home"

The Ice King dug out his Fionna and Cake omnibus. "Just touch this and you'll be back home" he held the book out, opening up to the page he last wrote, the ink still fresh.

"Do you know how my story ends?" Fionna asked, hovering her palm over the book.

The Ice King smiled from behind his massive beard. "You'll go on to do great things, I promise"

Fionna returned the smile, and placed her hand down. Her body melted into a watery, black substance, which was absorbed into the book. The word "Fionna" reappeared on all of its pages.

The Ice King closed the book, and placed it down gently.

Fionna was as she always was, ink on a page, yet so much more.


End file.
